day 27

Monday

Something incredibly strange happened to me today, it was familiar but still strange.

I first took major notice of this during my many leaving do’s, It was basically….a feeling.

The feeling I swept under the carpet many times, the feeling I took fro granted, the feeling I didn’t see as real.

The feeling in question is similar to flattery, praise, and self acceptance, and it comes from when other people pay you compliments. I don’t think ive ever learned the correct way to take a compliment, which is as easy as saying “thank you” for a confident person but for a not so confident or a person that doesn’t believe they have great worth its kinda strange to receive it and……almost too good to be true.

I noticed it in each of my leaving do’s where someone would realise im no longer going to be there and tell me what they really think of me: “I cant believe your going I miss you already” “Bristols wont be the same without you” “I need to come see you” and my favourite “what am I gonna do now huh? What the heck am I gonna do now?”

It properly sank in when I had the final do and people were telling they were definitely gonna be there and I had to avoid telling a few people incase they bring too many people. That day 30 odd people turned up and out of that only 3 people were tag alongs who I didn’t personally know.

That made me smile all night and I keep thinking about that day and that there must be something cool about me?

Tonight that statement was turned into a fact and slammed in my face like I got hit by a metro.

The day started off quite hectic in that I went o register for my N.I.E number (like national insurance) and it took me a good 3 hours to get it, then my mate bought me lunch (as currently im running on 3 euros till I get paid), then we checked out a gym we thought about joining, which now we will. After this we went to the mad hostel to see whats going on, I transferred the dregs of cash I had left in to my friends account to I could meet him later and he could give it to me. I then went home, slept then learnt more Spanish and got ready to go for a quiet social night. During the metro ride I drank my 1.5 l bottle of sangria and read my book “the game”.When I got back to Sol my friend from earlier wasn’t there so I text him from the next to get back to me because I relied on him to give me the money to survive the next day. Eventually I gave up on him and borrowed, a few euros off of a friend who was leaving that night so I could get home. My friend eventually phoned me and said he was in bed but because I was alright I could collect the dimes off him tomorrow.

I began to walk home and played football with some kids in the street practicing Spanish.

This is where the odd thing happened.

I started walking to the station home and I sat on a bench, a couple sat beside me, as I was listening to music on my mp3 player, I heard 1 of them speak English, I asked them if they do and they said yes. The talking started and they discovered I was from Bristol “oh Bristol? I love it there all the best music comes from there” The girl said. They then began to name the artists and bands and they were extremely hung up on Ronnie Size (this was my chance to name drop but I literally thought, im never gonna see them again there really is no point) They asked what I did and I returned the question, that’s when 2 other girls came in and were talking to them (all the girls were from Serbia and the guy was from Germany).

Before long the metro came and we all got on, the conversation continued and straight away the girl said “here let me write my number down” I took it and thought nothing of it.

The next 2 mins broke down like this:

- I find out the guy dumped her near where I live but they are still friends, possibly got back together.

- I find out even though she is an interior designer she used the same software I did in uni which we confirmed by name.

- She wanted me to go to the bar they were going to for all of 20 mins that I had left until the metro ends.

- I told them I have no money and the only money I do have is for the metro tomorrow, they all offered the euro I needed so I cold join them.

So as you know my weak will power buckled like a guys legs after a mule kick to the nuts, and I joined them. Instantly when I got there she introduced me to everyone there and said its there bar and I should come more often. They offered me a drink but I took the responsible suggestion of agua (water) because I already had Sangria for blood (funny fact, sangria is the drink but in spain sangrie means blood, which goes with the saying the Icelandic girls said “sexo sin sangrie is no sexo” use www.wordreference.com to figure that out.) curtisy of the 1.5 litres of Sangria I canned not 5 minutes before seeing them, but they said its bad luck to drink just water in a bar. Luckily my will power was made of sterner stuff this time round and I rejected, this is when I checked my phone …… 1.25 am. Even if I was Ben Johnson on dope there was no way I was going to make the metro. The girl seen this and said she’d pay for the a taxi if I spend half an hour more with them. I said I could make it, it was easy, but she protested, I chucked up my trump card of it will be 14 euros to get me home, but she said she’d pay it. I then said to her what are you talking about you’ve known me 20 minutes how will I give you the money back?

Her answer changed it all, “I just know you will”, I asked her how do you know? She said “ I have a feeling that you will, and even if you don’t we’re all enjoying your company far too much to care and its worth it if you stay” I looked around and the guys were cheersing me and they girls were either in their own world, or backing up their mate. I was speechless and flattered and said I really do needed to go. Finally she backed down, but gave me the money anyway. I hugged her then left.

I missed the metro but got the 24 hour bus (which was still only 1 euro compared to the 14 euro taxi)

Obviously I send out some kind of trusting vibes witch get me through life a lot easier then normal, and the success relies on it not going to my head, or consciously realising I have it, but that tonight I found out many important things.

1^st I am not the same Dwayne without my friends, I would go as far to say I am nothing without you guys. My confidence has shot to an all time low in meeting people. Being over here has helped me immensely come to terms with that, made me enjoy my own company a lot more, and when im under pressure Im a champion.

2^nd Alcohol is that special friend that artificially raises your confidence to near super hero performance. Time and time again I have been able to walk up to complete strangers (like tonight) and create mini groups of friends to help me cope without my team and mates. This seems obvious but the difference over here from England is that you actually generate parties as in you don’t forget them and they don’t forget you. I have been hanging around a lot of travellers since being here, if they weren’t travellers (leaving) I would be near famous by now.

3^rd Connections. I have 2 main friends I hang out with, these are my base, where no matter what I can chill with them. They got me connected to the 2 girls who get me into near any club free. Through the hostel ive met others that help me and I can chill with but these have most things in common with me and I can bounce off them for confidence. So post your comments on my speech in what you think id like that.

Im writing this drunk so if it makes no sense then you already know why