day 16: Back to school

Well today is the first day of my new job teaching 5 - 8 year olds English. (teaching in groups but mainly assisting the main teacher, and teaching some of the other teachers)and naturally i was late, but only by 10 minutes, and they didn't seem to mind.

As i got off the metro I was nervous obviously since it was a new job, ive been quoted saying "i never wanna teach" and most of all im working with kids that can talk about me behind my back.....in front of my face.

I got into the school and as i said, i was late, i had to convince the 60 year old guard that i was the new assistant there but something odd happened....my spanish wasnt working, he understood somethings but alot of the time I just got the response "como?", eventually the head came along and got the gist of what i was saying. After this i was on edge as i forgot to mention to you guys that im on a 3 day trial and if i screw this up i get no contract meaning i eat airplane food again.

Luckily the assistant i was replacing walked in and he was bilingual so he was the middle guy, i was put at ease in the fact that they actually "prefer" that i cant speak fluent Spanish and tell me not to use any Spanish in front of the kids, i gladly obliged. Next he gave me a run down on what i will be doing and what i need to know, they intale like this:

I work tuesdays to fridays and these are my hours:

Tuesday 9.30 - 3.45 (1.10 - 2.00 i teach the teachers english)
Wednesday 9.30 - 3.45
Thursday 9.30 - 3.45 (1.10 - 2.00 i teach the teachers english)
Friday 9.30 - 1.00 early finish.
Each day i get a 2 hour lunch break.

This equates to 16 hours a week in which ill be paid €887 per month (no tax as its seen as a grant).

Other perks include free breakfast (coffee orange juice and various cakes), and free lunch (gourmet sea food of which i can eat as much as i want)

The assistant took me to the deputy head in which i got a load of papers and policies, then took me to meet the kids.

I strolled into the class and had to use enormous telekinetic power to stop my legs becoming jelly and not to show any fear as we all know kids are like rabid dogs and can smell it a mile off. I stood in front of the class and the teacher introduced me and they responded with a hearty hellllllllooooooo. I told them my name and they looked at each other and a load responded "que?", obviously they´ve never heard my name before, i was told to write it on the board and still in almost unison "que?" bellowed from behind me, I reiterated my name in drawn out syllables and they tried to reciprocate but all failed. The teacher then butted in and wrote my name on the board in Spanish phonetics (apparently "Duien"), automatically they all started saying it right which is when I laughed and made me at ease. Next the teacher got them to shoot random questions at me which they all chucked like curve balls and rockets at the same time until they were scorned to "ask him one at a time please", then they had to have their hands in the air and picked by me to asked the question.

Whats your name?
How many years do you have? (Spanish straight to English)
Whats your favorite color?
Whats your favorite sport?
Do you have a girlfriend? (cheeky sod)
Whats your favorite animal?

All of which when i answered i got the response as if the were queuing up to be those little green guys in toy story 2.
This went on for a while and then the assistant took me out for first break (breakfast) and then to read the kids a story. The story was called "The magic cooking book" and was entirely in English, the assistant seemed to have almost regal command over the 5 kids that were sent to our room, and they responded to everything he said. This was great, i thought to myself, "they´re really well behaved" i told him...which turned out to be my famous last words.

He let me take the reigns and again they were brilliant, then he left the room for me to fly solo. At this stage the way the kids behaved, a person without previous experience with minors would probably walk out but I had to show them who,s boss.

First it was like they waited 10 - 15 seconds to make sure he was gone then the oldest substitute teacher destroying trick in the book started..."the repeating".
"everyone sit down", "I wont tell you again" " your being very bad" "silence please" all cotton wooled in laughter from the other kids. I was failing already, so then i thought id use prison rules (no not a kidney punch)...blackmail!!
"whats your name?" I said to the ring leader "Alberto" he replied "great, ill just tell Nuria (the main teacher) how bad you are so she can tell your parents" Like magic they stopped, smiles killed dead, and silence.
On my face was a stern angry stance but inside it couldn,t be more opposite. I then got them to read bits of the story while i helped them with words they struggled at, had a few jokes with them, and in the end it was a pleasant experience. The assistant then took me to lunch which was snapper fish, mushrooms, and some kind of potato salad. I was then introduced to 2 other assistants, 1 from California 23,born in Mexico, the other 20 from Manchester, both fluent in spanish. This meant at lunch times for the hour we eat, they, and all of the other teachers talk in blistering fast Spanish and i must look like i have a speech impediment, hard of hearing (no entiendo, no entiendo), and the most boring guy ever talking at 2 miles an hour, about how i want to learn and how im tired and completely unrelated topics.

After my break i returned to the class for more questions and answer time and then the day was over with what seemed to be as quickly as it began. The assistant the proceeded with the good news and bad news, the good news is tomorrow is Friday so it ends at 1, the bad news is this is his last day so ill be permanently on my own.

I left the school with a massive beaming smile on my face and chilled out at the hostel.

Finally I got the second most important call this week. All week ive been calling various landlords to get a place to live, tonight 1 called me back, he spoke English and something told me just have a look, even though it was half an hour away from Sol (living in warmley, whilst town is Sol). He told me I could come see it today...brilliant.

I went to see it, and first thing i notice was the area, it was really posh, and had every shop you could need in the area, a mall, a cinema, a fruit shop, a 7 - 11, bars, restaurants, 4 banks, and a sports hall, all within a 8 minute walk.

I went in what looked like a block of flats but, up close it looked like a hotel.

I took the elevator, and the guy explained that he had 2 properties to show me.
The first one had a room bigger than i thought it would be, and an in wall wardrobes, but it had 4 rooms to 1 bathroom, not good.

Then a lost the power of reason and logic.
I looked out the back window and asked whats that? "a swimming pool" The words "ill take it" tried tooth and nail to launch from my mouth but he interupted and said he has another property to show me that he thought was better.

We left the building and walked literally across the road into an alike building, this one was plush to say the least!!!
Marble floors, plants, and brass letter boxes in the front, when you walked in it look like the corridor in the board room of an office in New York.

My room was even bigger than the last, had its own balcony that i could hang cloths on a cloths horse, or friends can sun bath. The wardrobe was bigger too, the flat had 2 bathrooms and a huge kitchen, and a dining room. Already i knew it was mine, just need to find out the ins and outs. They were simple:

- I live with 3 other guys, 1 Asian from Kathmandu 28, engineering worker, no spanish, the other was from Ibiza 24, factory worker, more spanish than english , also plays guitar, the other was from i dont know where 40+, spanish and English but was an adult so who cares eh?

-€300 euros a month plus €30 every 2 months for bills.

- Have whoever i want over, but not live with me, and thats it.


I was smitten and he agreed I could move in the next day.

Ballissimo!!!!!